We’ve probably all heard the horror stories of a bad relationship. Whether it’s with a new partner or a spouse that you’ve been together with for many years, there are times when you’ll ask yourself “is this relationship really worth it?” and question if your time together has been a waste of effort. But first, let’s identify what a toxic relationship is and discuss how it could ruin your financial stability and potentially your life.
What classes as a toxic relationship?
To start with, let’s examine what a toxic relationship is. As the word implies, a relationship that is poisonous or damaging can be considered toxic. Imagine if your spouse refuses to work for one reason or another, or a partner that has gambling problems and fails to contribute towards the rent and bills. These are problems that could affect your own financial situation and, in many cases, damage your future and security.
As two people in a relationship, you each have equal responsibilities to uphold. Unless there is a legitimate reason for you having to help your partner, such as a disability that prevents them from working or if they’re recovering from an illness or a condition, then there should be no reason why you need to shoulder all of the responsibility. This situation is made worse when your partner is taking advantage of you and abusing the fact that you will bail them out of financial hardships because of your kindness. If this is the type of relationship that you are in, then it’s a pretty clear sign that you should take your leave.
Getting out of a toxic relationship
We’re going discuss more examples of toxic relationships and how they affect your financial stability below, but first, we need to talk about how to break out of a toxic relationship.
The first thing to understand is that you’re going to need help. Whether it’s from friends and family members who are encouraging you or professional services that can offer legal advice, it’s important that you don’t go it alone. For instance, you could get mediation to help you divide your wealth or deal with disputes that could arise from breaking off with your spouse. It’s a long an arduous process which is why a specialized lawyer or professional can help make things smoother and help you put your life back on track quicker.
Now let’s take a look at more examples of why you should never stand for a toxic relationship and the many ways in which it can affect your financial stability.
More examples of toxic relationships that could ruin your financial stability
When you’re in a relationship, you probably feel obliged to help your spouse deal with debt. For instance, maybe they’ve spent too much on their credit card and they’re unable to pay for the month, or perhaps they ask you to pay for the groceries this week because they’re busy at work.
Even though it might seem like an innocent thing at the start, you’re going to quickly realize that you can’t sustain two people financially in addition to starting a family. Sooner or later, you’ll have to put your foot down and let your partner know that you’re no longer going to support them financially if they can’t make contributions to your family.
Here are a few things to look out for if you’re worried that your partner may be taking advantage of you for your money:
- Excuses for not being able to find a job – There’s a good chance that you might be in a relationship with a toxic person if they keep giving you different excuses for being unable to find a job. If you feel like they’re fit to work and that there are plenty of opportunities (perhaps you even help them find work) yet they’re still unable to find work, then it’s a clear sign that they’re just being lazy and relying on you.
- Even more excuses for not going to work – If your partner is paid by the hour and comes up with excuses to not go into work, fakes being ill all the time or simply doesn’t go into work, then they’re probably lazy and expect you to do everything in the relationship.
- You’re always expected to pay for home upkeep – Whether it’s your bills, the rent or even groceries, people in a relationship should always delegate tasks an split upkeep.
- Your partner never contributes – Does your partner suggest a renovation to the home that they don’t contribute to? Do they make you pay for dinner because they conveniently forgot their wallet at home? If you feel like your partner never contributes, then put your foot down and stop them from taking advantage of you.
- You never get things back from your partner – Have you ever lent your partner money that they never paid back, or given them some of your belongings that you never saw again? Don’t throw your money away–ask for it back or refuse to loan them anything in the future.
In addition to the immediate financial problems that you could be experiencing as a result of a toxic relationship, you should also think about the future that you have together.
For instance, if you plan to raise a family then you simply can’t do so if your partner refuses to contribute to the family’s upkeep. Whether it’s bills, rent, paying for child’s tuition fees or even clothing, you need to split these tasks and have your partner contribute as well. If they’re unable to, then there’s no point raising a family together because they receive all the benefits and you lose your financial freedom and stability.
If you’ve worked hard in life to have a stable income, then you shouldn’t throw it away for someone else.